The Prodigal Blogger

Guess who’s back and blogging?

The Noble and The Nonsense, moi, Miss Elle.

Joining the Peace Corps has been an experience! However, while I was in my solitude and in deep abyss of profound thoughts, I realized that blogging is of more significance. LOL.

SERIOUSLY. I was trapped in a very TALL tower in the middle of a desert and surrounded by flames that could be put off by the brave one. It was disheartening to perpetually wait and more tragic when my long hair was cut off by Abu Obama bin Lohan aka Kimmie.

But last night. Oh one snowy night (yeah snow in the desert), someone saved me. When I opened my eyes from an eon of sleep caused by too much Benadryl that terrorist Kimmie had been giving me, I heard two guys arguing. Oops! I was saved not by someone but by someTWO.

One must have been angry to the other because he wanted to kiss me. So I asked both of them and one in red was like, “Excuse moi. Ilusyanada!”

“But you must be Prince? And you in green must be Charming?”

“Nonsense! You don’t know us?!?”

“I’m Mario and he’s Luigi! Gahd!!!”

“And contrary to the rumors, we’re not brothers... WE'RE LOVAHS!”

They kissed. And lived glamorous gays ever after.

Fin. Wakas. The End.

Hugs, Kisses, Pizza and Manicures.

MISS ELLE: I LOVE posting in your blog. Albeit I think I'm not doing it justice, but I very much am enjoying being able to post in The Noble and The Nonsense. :) I'll put it in my resume! LOL

I'M NOT GIVING YOU YOUR BLOG BACK! :)

Hahahahaha. ;)

PS: Seriously. No burden here. I ♥ interacting with all your readers&commenters. :) Long live The Noble and The Nonsense!

Everyone say Hi to Miss Elle. :P

So Help me God.

After five weeks of washing dishes, manually doing the laundry, ironing, sweeping the floor and other various household chores, we finally found ourselves some household help. All should be well, except for the teensy weensy fact that she can be a bit ... How shall I put this? Slow.

Slow, literally and figuratively speaking.

Example:

ME: Can you call Mommy at the office?
Helpergirl: O_O

ME: Tell her the guy whos varnishing is here

Helpergirl: O_O

ME: You know how to use the phone, right?
Helpergirl: O_O

*picks up the receiver*

O_O

ME: Do you know her number?
Helpergirl: O_O

ME: *dials the number*

Helpergirl: O_O

Another example: We're in the process of switching residences; and we're doing the move one day at a time. Today, I put out some dishes so the dish holders and the rest of the utensils can be driven out to the new home along with some other boxes.

Helpergirl puts them back in

Me: No! Didn't I put it out?
Helpergirl: O_O

Me: Leave it there

Helpergirl: O_O

Me: Don't put the dishes back 

Helpergirl: O_O

Me: I put them out intentionally

Helpergirl: O_O

I know this sounds really gross, but my tummy's been hurting pretty bad lately. I also noticed that our water has some weird after taste -- like it was taken from the sink (which is definitely not sanitary).

My sister: Why does the water taste gross?
Me: I dunno, but it won't be the first for that water company we order from

My sister: It tastes like sink water

Me: *thinks: maybe helper girl has been getting water from the sink? nah! i don't think she's THAT dumb. i mean, she gets water from the dispenser herself, right?*

A FEW DAYS LATER...

Mommy sees helpergirl "washing" the water bottles and filling them out with sink water

Mommy: Inday, have you been getting water from the sink?
Helpergirl: O_O *Nods very very slowly*

O_O

And the ultimate winner...

Inday is a working student. She goes to school at 5pm-8pm. On her first night out, Mum gave her P20 for her allowance. (She's used to P5/day). Inday comes home LATE, almost 10pm.

Mommy: What took you so long? Where have you been

Helpergirl: Nag sweeper pa ako. O_O

SWEEPER? For two hours?

Mommy: *dismisses the incident* Eat your supper

Helpergirl: *shamelessly devours two whole plates of rice*

Mommy: *to me:* Pubresita. She's so hungry. At least now when she comes home, she doesn't have to worry about anymore. At least we're helping her in a way.

THIRTY MINUTES PASS BY 

Mommy: *to helpergirl* Inday, try to hurry up a bit because you have a few more chores to finish off.

Helpergirl: Is that my food?

Mommy: You've been eating rice without the food???

Helpergirl: O_O

Mommy: Didn't I tell you that that's your food?

Helpergirl: O_O

Mommy: So all you've been eating is rice???
Helpergirl: O_O

We try to understand her. We really do. Mum told me to put myself in her shoes. She feels really bad for helper girl, and likes the notion that we're making a difference in her life. 

Poverty is a vicious cycle, and Mum hopes that inday can finally break it. "If you were up to your neck in poverty, had to work before going to school, didn't have food in your stomach; you'd be slow too."

Which got me thinking. Where would my state of mind be without my vast collection of books? Or without my college degree? What if I didn't get to eat three full meals a day? Maybe I'd be worse off than she is. Maybe my facial expression would be O_o.

It is with this, that I try to empathize and understand. Even if, five minutes ago, I asked her to clean upstairs and she gives me this blank stare again. Then asks me if she's to clean upstairs already.

O_O

And even if, before that, I asked her to make some ice and she threw out the mineral water and replaced it with sink water. (Isn't that different from making ice?)

My mom makes the sign of the cross whenever things get too frustrating -- and she's not even Catholic.

We're going to need all the mercy we can get.

So help me God. :|

'Til Miss Elle gets back,

Kimmie. ♥

HeyLow!

Hey! Kimmie still here. :) Sorry, but Miss Elle is still being held against her will (we've been injecting Benadryl into her bloodstream); so I'm still in charge here.

I honestly feel incompetent yet privileged that Miss Elle has given me access to her cyber journal. And now, for a little history.

Miss Elle and I go wayy back to pre-pubertal days, and have come to be the very best of friends in high school. She'd always have this little plastic blue notebook with her, perpetually doodling and writing whenever she had the chance. We'd always have heart to heart talks, but it'd start with her letting me read a few entries from her precious notebook. Then one day, probably fed up with having to explain things to me, she handed me her pad and said, "Read whatever you want. I'm giving you 100% access."

Cool. Now, five years later, I have yet again unlimited access to her pensieve. What should I do with it?

Suggestions? LEZZ PARTAYYYYYYY.

***

I'd like to thank those who've commented on my previous post. I was kinda wary at first because I wasn't sure how you guys would react to me. :) Thank you! *I'll try to post better when I have time:)*

So help us God.

HIJACKED.

This blog is currently being hijacked. Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt. Everyone just stay calm.

Miss Elle is currently being held against her will. If she's lucky, I might let her *and her blog* go.

*evil laugh goes here*

TODAY, THE NOBLE AND THE NONSENSE! TOMORROW, THE WORLD!

*insert evil music here with matching evil laugh in the background here*



JUST KIDDING.

I apologize for the uber cheesy post. I couldn't help it! Hehe. :) Hi guys, I'm Kimmie; the blogger behind Blasphemous Epiphanies. Miss Elle has decided to join the Peace Corps and save the world from hunger, so she can't come to the computer right now. For the meantime, I'll be taking down messages for her and will be "guest" blogger.

This is insanely HUGE shoes to fill since we all know how great of a writer she was, so I hope you guys bear with me.

We're going to have so much fun! YEY!

My Brain Needs Some Scanning?

~~~ August 30, 2008 Diary Entry of The Noble and The Nonsense, herself, Miss Elle ~~~

How do I say this?

Oh well. Here it goes. Ben has a girlfriend. Actually. Gahd. How can he be so0o stupid? How can I be soo so0o... anyway.

Never mind. Just get over it. But he is such an effin' jerk who for the love of Pete Jose Toto should never ever show his face again or else I'd wring his... OMG. "What happened to your face?" I asked my sister who just got out of her room looking like someone who'd undergone a Botox treatment and Lip Enhancement that went totally wrong.

"Hone has." Just when did she learn to speak whatever that language is? Well it would be difficult to type here how she said it but it was totally like my BFF Kimmie's situation recently. Only that my sister was being attacked, this time severely, by her allergy. I wish I could say that she's got swollen lips but no... it was her entire face! Poor her.

Anyh0o, she asked for a favor - to buy her an antihistamine and I was like, "Sure. But i would never ever ever buy Benadryl!"

"Waah?" That's all she could manage to say, which I could assume as an expression of confusion. I couldn't tell by her facial reaction. Sadly.

So I went to the mall with Big Sister's task. I love the mall especially when I'm feeling down. Why am I feeling down again? Oh. That stupid jerk. Ben. Ugh! Gahd! I swear... I totally swear... that spag top certainly looks fab! I went in to have a fit and yeah, ended up buying it. Maybe I could wear this on Mina's birthday. Or THE day when I hand the .45 gun to my "other" BFF bloggista and watch him shoot... Sale on National Bookstore!!!

Oh boy, do I feel good! I went home feeling a lot better with a new silk bronze spag top and 11 books with me including my very first book of Haruki Murakami (Kafka on the Shore).

Until I saw my sister's swollen face looking at me as if I have with me the cure for AIDS. Ohmigahdohmigahd. Ohmigahd.

Did I just forget to buy her Claritin? Why for the love of Toto did I forget the very reason I had to go to the mall?!? Why? *sigh*

Riding in Car with Boys

Since my Adorable nephew didn't get a turtle and we he has grown tired waiting for him to wake up and become a chipmunk, he finally expressed his yearning for something that is feasible - a pug. For weeks now, we have been roaming around the city at night going to the indicated addresses of sellers to find the perfect female pug.

We were in a commotion inside the car last night due to conflicting taste of music of these two "grown-up" boys with us. Shawn (older) likes something alternative while Sean (adorably annoying) loves RnB. So the final decision was on my sister (their mom) and she intentionally picked those tracks sung by female popstars because mind you, these boys are into that "Ewww. That's for girls..." phase.

Christina Aguilera's Come on Over track and Sean was already fuming beside me. I ignored him. I hate tantrums unless it's me throwing them. LOL.

Silence.

Fighter by Christina Aguilera again. I hope you're familar with the song though. Because obviously it isn't a love song. It's more of an expressed anger or outrage of someone betrayed and I actually loved the way Christina Aguilera sang it. So powerful and so...

Sean suddenly put his head on my shoulder.

ME: Are you sleepy?

Sean: No. The song... I don't like it.

I was just silent.

Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Sean: I feel like crying.

ME: Why?

Sean: The song... *rubs his eyes* It reminds me of Rufus...

*Rufus is one of the seven puppies of our shih tzu here and his most favorite one but unfortunately it was bought last week.*

ME: Well we're having a pug. Choose a name now if I were you so then we'll know what to call her once she hops here in with us.

Sean: I have already thought of that. SNOW WHITE.

ME: Snow White? Is this her name for tonight? I bet that by tomorrow she'll be Fiona or Bea (his crush) again.

Sean: NO. It'll always be her name. SNOW WHITE. Promise!

Well. Owwwkaaay... Say hello to Snow White.

On The Verge of Collapse and...Take Benadryl?

~~~ August 10, 2008 Diary Entry of The Noble and The Nonsense, herself, Miss Elle ~~~

I woke up at 2:13AM and couldn't get back to sleep. So what else do I do when there's nothing else to do? Blog hopping! At 6:00AM, my mobile was beeping. A reminder - PRC sked! Ohmiholycow. I couldn't move because my world was on vertigo of madness. I felt sick.

But I had to move my ass and go to PRC so I could apply for my Professional License. I got there by 10:23AM and sadly, I forgot about breakfast. The line was oh so0o totally effin' endless. And the heat... my gawd! Effin' tewwible.

The hottest box office there was the Cashier's booth. WOW. Just effin' wow. At 11:47, I was already 5th in line ---> 4th ---> 3rd ---> STUPID LUNCHBREAK. $#%$%!!!!!

Lack of sleep. Prolonged standing. Tummy on an turmoil. Dehydrated. I felt I was going to collapse. But then I didn't mind. Like hello, I was surrounded by doctors, nurses, and soon-to-be-nurses. Just imagine if they found me in a state like this:

But hey. I have Maxx Red candies. My lifesavers for the day!

1:50PM. Finally. My last stop - the signing churva. Then I saw a somewhat familiar guy who waved and approached me. We aren't really close but let's say I was one of the people who searched his name and was happy he's one of those who passed. Because he was a self-confessed suicidal - left by his girlfriend of 8 years for another man a week before the Board Exam. Howwible! Let's just say we have a common friend who's such a big mouth for everyone in the group to know the tragic story. I must say he looked better than when I last saw him two months ago.

In summary. The line was long that it really gave the time for me to know more about him. He dropped me home because he knew where I lived. That was probably because he was staring at the form I was filling up while waiting for me. Cheater! LOL. He actually invited me for a coffee but...

ME: Oh. But i really am tired... holistically. Sorry...

Him: No. It's okay... You really are weird, like you really have a hard time sleeping?

ME: Like yeah.

Him: Well... you know... during THAT time... I couldn't sleep too. But I found the secret... *cute laugh while driving*

ME: Secret? Oh... don't tell me... valium? lorazepam?

Him: No. BENADRYL. Try it. Really! I'm serious.

LOL. It truly made me laugh especially with the confused look on his face.

ME: It's nothing. Reminded me of something.

Well. You all know I was reminded of Ben. Who in the effin' hell is Ben anyway?!? Ben is that guy who stood me up. Ben is an Elle Word taken from the word Benadryl. From now on, we'll call him Ben. Officially. I wanted to tell him the story how I got stood up because of that effin' Benadryl but I changed my mind. According to Ben who sounded "apologetic" in his text last week, he got beaten up by your comments guys. Yes, he actually reads used to read my blog.